Dating.

So, Dating.

As a Christian I want to live my life according to God's Word. Is dating in the Bible? That would be a negative. There was a thing called courtship. Where two individuals decide there's a mutual interest in each other, and before going into the relationship, they can see marriage in the long run and they make it known to each other.

When I've asked younger girls, "what's your idea of dating/ why do you date?" the typical response has been "to have fun... to live a little..." And then I ask them, "what is God's idea of dating?" and they'd answer, "to find our future husband." Big difference much?

As Christians, do we want to act on our belief, or the Lords?

With mainly teenagers, especially us girls, we can easily get wrapped up in all that hormones and fall for a boy way too easily... I suppose I'm just an odd girl who made the conscious choice to not date til after she graduate when sge was in middle school... Am I a freak? That's up to you to decide. But I figured why add on all that drama of a boy in the huge bowl of life, that's already overflowing with all the regular junk that a PMS teenage girl already has to deal with . Family. School. Work. All the emotional and physical changes your going through. Trying to figure out who you are. Why add a boy to the mix just to add something else to worry about? No thanks.

When should I date?

Why do people date? Hopefully it's because they want to find their future husband/wife...

Am I putting the Lord #1 in my life? Do I freak out if I don't have my QuietTime with him? If I don't look in God's Word?

If the answer's no... I need a little evaulation. Let's say I have a boyfriend (hard, I know) and the he doesn't text me back in less than 3.2 minutes and I freak out thinking "did I say something wrong? What's he doing? Why is it taking so long? Do I have the same reaction if I don't have my personal time with the Lord? If I answer no, what the problem with that picture? I'm putting the relationship with boyfriend before the Lord.

Can the boyfriend financially support me?

Can he buy me a ring the next day? Does he still live with his parents? Can he pay rent? Can he pay for car insurance? Cell phone bill? Finances can break a marriage. It's not the prime factor of a marriage, but it's a huge contributing factor. Can you think of any relationships where debt just consumed them? Dating is leading to your future husband. Do you want to persue someone who can't support you? Don't get the wrong impression of "you should date a wealthy person, because finances can make or break a relationship and/or marriage."  Typically, a person that can't control their finances, can't control themselves.

Is he a Christian?

Some people may simply say "yes." But what is your definition of a Christian? Someone who says they are a Christian? Do they actively attend church? Not because they feel like they have to... but because they truly want to learn more and grow in their walk with the Lord? Do they have accountability partners, who will call them out when they step out of the lines? Don't just ask if they are... watch them and see if they act and live through Christ.

Okay… so I find that certain someone, and start to date.

Just FYI, dating isn’t marriage.

Don’t play house… Don’t spend every waking moment with your sweetheart. The more you’re with him, the easier it is to fall deeper for him. Then when you break up, you feel like you’re going through a divorce. Some ways you can tell you’re playing house is if you act like a married couple, mixing your finances, going on family vacations, calling the others parents “Mom and Dad.”

Above all, guard your heart, for it’s the wellspring of life. 

Proverbs 4:23 

Save all those things for that lucky guy… Don’t waste giving those privileges to a guy that isn’t the one the Lord has in mind for you. Think of every time you date, you give your man a petal of your rose. And when you break up, that's one less petal on your rose that you can give to your husband. Wouldn't you want to save all those petals for the man that God has hand picked for you?

And hey! God's word also says it's a blessing to be single.

1 Corinthians 7:6-8

Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me.

I mean preferably, I kinda hope I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life… but hey! If the Lord wants me to be an old lady with a dying desire to live his will and that means being single and live with 100 cats… bring on the litter boxes!